Tuesday, May 17, 2016
DHL Express (Italy) v Commission: Guidance on Parallel Immunity/Leniency Applications
Monday, May 16, 2016
Men & Women Reveal The Tragic Ways They Tried To Save Their Marriages
It's worth exploring every last option before calling it quits on your marriage -- but sometimes, there's nothing you can do to keep an unhealthy relationship afloat.
Below, men and women who blog for The Huffington Post share their last-ditch efforts to save their marriages before finally calling it quits.
I invited him over for a romantic dinner and it was anything but romantic.
"My then-husband and I had sold our home and my daughter and I had moved into a new place, but I still held out hope we could make it work and get back together. So one night, I hired a babysitter, made a delicious dinner (bottle of wine included) and invited him over for a romantic evening. During dinner, he talked constantly of 'his new life' and how our marriage wasn't working -- all due to me. I remember him saying, 'If only you had been better at this' or 'If only you had been happy just being a military wife and hadn't wanted to build a career.' That was our last dinner and our last conversation as husband and wife, because I realized no matter what it just wasn't going to work. We simply weren't a good fit for each other." -- Honoree C.
I gave my wife permission to continue her affair.
"My last-ditch effort followed a series of first, second and third-ditch efforts. First, I decided we could survive her affair by patiently awaiting its' end. Second, I began to address my issues; I was codependent and resented being the primary caregiver. Third, I arranged to renew our vows in surprise ceremony because I thought she was willing. For my last-ditch effort, I actually suggested she let the affair run its course and I would wait until it was over. These efforts did not make any difference; they only increased my role as a doormat in the marriage." -- Chris B.
I considered plastic surgery to save my marriage.
"I'd describe the final years of my marriage as aiming darts on a target that never hit the mark. Each dart represented effort: therapy, dolling myself up, getting long, fancy, nails that I'd never had. I wrote 14 handwritten love letters for every day that I was gone on a trip with our daughter, complete with a playlist of meaningful songs in our lives. I even contemplated plastic surgery, which isn't me at all. In between, we went on weekend getaways and had long evenings talks on the back porch. It became clear to me that I wasn't changing enough and would need to morph more to accommodate our almost 20-year marriage. Eventually, I decided I did need to change but for my children and myself: I asked him to move out and divorced him. That dart finally hit the bull's-eyes. Besides having my children, it was the best decision I've ever made." -- Clara H.
I asked him to take a romantic trip with me and ended up going solo.
"I knew my marriage was over the night before my husband and I were to leave on a one week trip to Borneo. We had been fighting all week (well, really for the past four years, but it had reached a real point of no return in the last week). I was counting on this trip to get our marriage back on track. We had always traveled well together. But when midnight approached my husband announced that we were no longer married and he was not going on the trip. The next morning I woke him up and begged him to go. He refused. I went by myself. It turned out to be an amazing week. I made new friends. I learned how to navigate public transportation. I went scuba diving and saw thousands of fish circling around me. I stayed out til 2 a.m. drinking and eating fresh seafood with fellow travelers. When I got back home, I told him it was over." -- Julie M.
We tried (and failed) at marriage counseling.
"We had tried marriage counseling many rounds. About three. And by the third go-round, I didn't have it in me to keep beating what seemed to be, a dead horse. The third time we tried a different therapist. I felt like she was doing therapy right out of some book she read the night before. I listened to her and did what she asked, and so did he but a few days after, we would fizzle out. It wasn't simply making changes but grueling hard work, and from my end, I didn't feel like my ex was seeing all I was doing to help things. Perhaps he felt the same way." -- Laura L.
I asked my wife to travel the world with me instead of divorcing.
"I returned from a business trip and sat on the floor with my wife and said, 'I realized while I was in Europe that our marriage is dead.' She said she had realized the same thing. It wasn't even in my mind we'd get divorced, though. I told her, 'let's sell the house and travel the world with the kids.' But we had run our course. We'd met at 23. We were now hitting 40. Nothing could 'fix' it. It was better for both of us to fly. And we did." -- Adam G.
I overheard my husband telling our friends that the marriage was over and pretended I didn't.
"A clue that it was over came in a hushed tone on a balmy evening. As I sat on the grass of our front yard I overheard my husband tell our mutual friends, 'Patty knows we won't be together much longer.' I wanted to believe it was the whiskey talking and never mentioned it to him. The last clue and negative quality I overlooked was the most obvious: he wasn't nice to me anymore and didn't want to spend time with me. I finally learned actions speak louder than words." -- Patty B.
After separating, the kids and I moved back in with him and tried to start again.
"I moved back in the last time. We had spent the majority of the summer after my youngest child was born separated. I was heartbroken that he was missing the majority of her newborn days and milestones. He seemed distraught as well and vowed to change his ways. I moved into the new family home he had purchased us hesitantly and hoped he would fulfill his promises to amend his ways. That was in August. By mid-October, I knew things were not going to get better and left for good. All was not lost, though, as we can now co-parent peacefully, and we work much better in that capacity. " -- Lindsey L.
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
20160516 - 13 Important Questions About Criminal Justice We Can't Answer
13 Important Questions About Criminal Justice We Can't Answer
May 15, 2016
by Tom Meagher, The Marshall Project
2016-05-15
Early plaintiff in Uber case challenges $100M settlement, says he feels 'utterly betrayed' by lawyer
One of the first drivers to file suit in what has become 240,000-member class action against Uber Technologies Inc. has gone on the record in…
Sunday, May 15, 2016
I Was a Self-Righteous Married Person
Are you a self-righteous married person? I was. I thought (and sometimes said) many of those things about people around me getting divorced. I was scared of divorce. I needed people around me to stay married and keep the hope alive that marriage is a good thing; that it can work out. Divorce is threatening. Inside, I hoped that by judging others that were getting divorced that I would remain on the right side of that judgment and remain married. It didn't work.
We tried to stay married with grit, determination and self-will. We tried therapy for "us." I tried therapy for "me." I tried acceptance and forgiveness. I tried perpetual gratitude lists. I tried prayer, meditation and yoga. While all of these things benefited our marriage, none of them were enough to make it work. We couldn't forge a consistent connection that met each others needs and instead we existed in a state of stress and discomfort most of the time.
Now, I am getting a divorce. I understand that each union is different and despite good intent, hope and love some of us just can't stay married. It's sad but it's true. Fifty percent of marriages in the U.S. fail. I've jumped off my high horse. People are doing the best they can. We didn't have the tools to become a working union. The stress of our marriage showed in my kid's faces, in my sleepless nights and my lack of authenticity with friends and family. Going through a divorce has changed me. I have met my limits and honored them.
I would love for 100% of marriages to work. Would love for divorce to be a concept rather than a reality. I don't encourage or recommend divorce. But if you find yourself unable to stay married, my heart is filled with love for you. I know where you are. I know that despair and sadness and I share it with you. I am wrapping my arms around you with the biggest healing hug I can muster.
If you are a self-righteous married person, I love you too. I have been you. Your path and experience may be different than mine but I love you anyway. I know that judgment comes from hurt. Sometimes we need to relive the hurt to heal. If you meet your pain my hug is here.
As I sit here 19 days away from mediating our divorce, I have sadness but not regret. Our union produced the best thing in our lives, our children. I am open to what is next. I am filled with compassion for my husband, myself and others who find themselves unable to stay married.
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
20160515 - Top civil rights lawyer says U.S. criminal justice reforms are falling short
Top civil rights lawyer says U.S. criminal justice reforms are falling short
May 13, 2016
by Jeffrey Brown, PBS NewsHour
2016-05-13