Is Social Media To Blame For Disloyalty?

Are humans truly meant to be together for life? Or are people always going to be tempted by outside desires, no matter the circumstances? We had psychotherapist and relationship specialist Lisa Brateman on the show to talk with us about the state of monogamy, obstacles to commitment in the modern age, and how we can work through issues of loyalty in our own relationships.

Easier to be disloyal?
Lisa doesn't necessarily think engaging in online communication makes you disloyal, but it does make it "easy to be superficial". The disloyalty doesn't happen when you're initially communicating, but it can happen "down the line", especially if the thinking is "only about yourself." But if you're out of a relationship, or figuring things out about yourself, this type of communication can be productive.

Swipe right for happiness
Lisa deals with many clients who use Tinder, an effortless matchmaking app that links people by their geographic location. In the app, users decide whether or not to match with someone by swiping left or right, oftentimes basing their judgement on a split-second glance at a single photo. Lisa's thoughts on this are similar to any sort of online communication- good and bad can come out of it, depending on the mutual expectations of the users. While certain people may be looking for meaningful relationships, others may be using Tinder precisely for its "spontaneous and superficial" qualities. And sometimes, this kind of interaction can be "more spontaneous than you might want."

Click here to see the full interview with Dr. Lisa Brateman.

And follow Lisa on twitter for more relationship advice.


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Is It Natural To Be Monogamous?

Are humans truly meant to be together for life? Or are people always going to be tempted by outside desires, no matter the circumstances? We had psychotherapist and relationship specialist Lisa Brateman on the show to talk with us about the state of monogamy, obstacles to commitment in the modern age, and how we can work through issues of loyalty in our own relationships.

Nothing but mammals
Being human is complicated enough day-to-day, so it's no surprise we often forget to think about ourselves as the high-functioning mammals we truly are. As much as we may try to rationalize our impulses and instincts, our feelings may be dictated by things outside of our conscious mind. Is monogamy something that is natural to our specific animal species, or is it a construct we have developed for other, societal reasons? Are we like the prairie vole, one of the few mammals that mates for life?

Lisa is no chemical scientist, but she doesn't think that monogamy is something that absolutely comes naturally. "It's a mindset," she insists. "If you want to be monogamous, if you put the importance on that, then it will happen." She knows that it's it's "easy to look for other things," and this sort of search is "very natural for some, obviously not for all,". True monogamy requires effort, especially with all of the modern obstacles to commitment.

Click here to see the full interview with Dr. Lisa Brateman.

And follow Lisa on twitter for more relationship advice.


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Why Do Married Men Turn To Dating Websites For Excitement?

Are humans truly meant to be together for life? Or are people always going to be tempted by outside desires, no matter the circumstances? We had psychotherapist and relationship specialist Lisa Brateman on the show to talk with us about the state of monogamy, obstacles to commitment in the modern age, and how we can work through issues of loyalty in our own relationships.

What is AshleyMadison.com?
For those who maybe haven't explored the option, Ashleymadison.com is a Canada-based online matchmaking service marketed to people who are married or in a committed relationship. But that may be putting it nicely; the tagline for the website is the"Life is short. Have an affair." The website guarantees privacy in this exchange, billing the users through credit card under discrete aliases. But after a recent database hacking, 36 million names and email addresses of the sites users were leaked, with widespread personal and professional repercussions.

Why do men (and women) feel the need engage in this in the first place? Well, Lisa says, mostly because "they didn't think they could get caught." The ability to explore desire privately, from the comfort of your computer, and have it "not be about the relationship" is too tempting for many to pass up. "The idea that women on the site would also be in a similar situation" is a nice "bow on the package," she says.

Click here to see the full interview with Dr. Lisa Brateman.

And follow her on twitter for more relationship advice.


You can submit all your questions for our future guests on Mondays with Marlo on Twitter and Facebook.

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Follow Marlo on Twitter:

@MarloThomas

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-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

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