20150826 - Young Man's Felony Indictment Tossed in Interest of Justice

Young Man's Felony Indictment Tossed in Interest of Justice August 26, 2015 by Jasmine Grays, New York Law Journal 2015-08-26

An Open Letter to Scarlett O'Hara, the Original Marriage Hacker

Dear Scarlett,

I'm one of your biggest fans. I'm a Yankee, of course, but ever since my grandmother forced me to sit through Gone with the Wind when I was eight, I've had a deep respect for your determination and general pluck. It's possible you were even an inspiration for me being a divorce lawyer, because I think of you as the original marriage hacker. You couldn't get divorced in old days, but you made the most of three unhappy marriages, taking what you could get and repeatedly building a new empire from the ashes of the last.



Let's be blunt here: history wasn't exactly on your side. Yet you managed to survive -- and thrive -- despite living through a war; despite losing your parents in really awful ways; despite having your entire livelihood burned to the ground; oh, yeah, and despite being tied into a corset, buried in petticoats and told to be a lady. You are not a lady, and that's what we love about you. Had you lived in modern times, you would have been the terrifying grand dame of any of the "Real Housewives" series, without exception.

The thing about Gone with the Wind is that it everyone thinks it's a story about love for other humans -- your love for Ashley Wilkes, your love for Rhett Butler -- but you're not really a romantic, Scarlett. Women had it rough in the American South; marriage dictated that you were essentially the property of your husband. So not surprisingly, your most lasting love affair was with your house, the infamous Tara. I think the men were more or less just there to provide you and Mammy with some eye candy. Still, I think it's worth having a look at who you married and how you marriage-hacked your way into a medium-happy ending.

Marriage #1: Charles Hamilton
Charles was your first husband, and you married him on a whim (I love when people do that). You had just found out that your crush Ashley Wilkes was marrying someone else, and as a way to make him jealous, you seduced his new brother-in-law-to-be, Charles Hamilton. You had a son together, in the book anyway, not the movie; then he went off and got himself killed in the war. This is convenient for you, and explains why you married someone right before they marched off to war. But Charles was a safe bet anyway, being super young a bit of a dummy; he would have made a good docile husband for a firecracker such as yourself. But anyway, he's out of the way.

Marriage #2: Frank Kennedy
After Atlanta was burned in Sherman's march through the South, tired and traumatized, you returned to Tara, your true love. Unfortunately you arrived to find the whole place had been wrecked and looted, and your mom was dead, and your dad had gone crazy. You probably would have been okay staying single at this point -- you were well on your way to getting the farm functional again -- until the government raised the taxed on your property. You needed to marry someone with money, and fast.

Rhett Butler, the face that makes all the grannies swoon, sadly wasn't available, so you quickly settled for your sister's boyfriend Frank Kennedy, who is -- conveniently and thankfully -- as much of a dummy as your previous husband was. But he was a dummy with a business, and he could pay the taxes on Tara, who was the only one you really loved, so it was fine. You and Frank even have a kid (in the book, not the movie). Then you get attacked, and in the skirmish that follows, in which local men try to defend your, ehm, honor, your husband Frank is killed. Marriage number two, complete.

Marriage #3: Rhett Buttler
After Frank dies, you're actually fine. (Financially I mean, of course you were fine emotionally.) You don't need a husband. But -- and here's where people get generally confused about the love story in Gone with the Wind -- you are physically attracted to this Rhett Butler character. So, finally having the freedom to make the mistake most people make with their first marriages, you marry him for the sex. Oh, and also, he's filthy rich, so that doesn't hurt. But you don't love him. You sort of sometimes think you do, but then not so much.

You have a child together (this one actually shows up in the movie) but then, when she dies tragically, so does your marriage. Rhett leaves you. And you decide to go back to Tara, your true wife.



What can be learned from this? A lot.

One big lesson is that if you can't marry who you actually think you want to be with, the next best option is to marry someone else. Or, in your case, everyone else. Especially if they can get you out of debt and have a high chance of getting themselves killed in some manner.

Another lesson is that people can't marry houses. Even today.

And a final lesson -- and this is probably the real takeaway from this letter -- is that women from the South are completely nuts. Take it from your friendly neighborhood divorce attorney: if you hear the rustle of petticoats, run.


Respectfully,
James J. Sexton


Image Credits:
Screenshots taken from Gone with the Wind (1939)

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An Online Dating Expert Gets Played

I am an online dating expert.

Hold on. Don't roll your eyes. This is not a self-proclaimed title or one given because I completed a web-based certification course. I was named one of the "Ten Best Online Dating Experts" by a leading dating advice website. Here's a portion of what the article states:

"Melani Robinson is as real as it gets. A writer, mother, dog lover, yoga enthusiast and foodie, Robinson gives dating advice based on firsthand experience in her award-winning blog, "1 Year of Online Dating at 50." Robinson calls it like she sees it -- the good, the bad, the painful and the disappointing. Oh, and she's not afraid of a few four-letter words."

That's right, boots on the ground, baby, and there's nothing about the online dating experience that can surprise me. I've seen it all and revel in my ability to identify and avoid a dating shit show in the making.

Um, at least that's what I thought.

I met RJ for a drink after we matched on Tinder. We had exchanged a few texts and spoke briefly on the phone. He was interesting, funny and complimentary. There were no red flags in our communication, his written profile or pics. In my expert opinion, RJ was normal. The one drawback was that he was only visiting New York City but he planned to rent an apartment as work brought him to Manhattan on a monthly basis.

When I arrived at the bar he was already seated at a table by the window. RJ smiled, stood and walked towards me. Beyond being handsome (sheesh, even a novice could see that), I surmised that RJ was normal AND a gentleman.

"Your pictures don't do you justice," were his first words and I quickly added "charming" to my professional assessment of RJ. Two drinks later I had learned much more. He was interesting, had traveled the world and we shared many common experiences. As our date ended he walked me to my Uber and we hugged goodbye, but not before he asked if I was available for dinner the following night (go-getter, check). It was the only opportunity we would have for a proper second date before he left for home. I had plans so it appeared we would have to wait for his return to the city for date number two. Before I'd even arrived at my apartment, RJ sent a text thanking me for a great first date (follow-through, yep).

The next day we flirted a bit as we exchanged more texts and talked on the phone. The list was growing and "confident" was added. RJ asked if I would meet him for a walk in Central Park on the morning he was flying out. I suggested Tavern on the Green where there's a coffee to-go window and outdoor seating. Again, it was a stimulating conversation. He mentioned that he didn't think online dating was for him because it was awkward talking to a bunch of strangers, especially since people aren't going to tell the whole truth about their lives (insightful, noted).

After an hour it was time for me to leave for an appointment across the park on the Upper East Side. RJ asked if he could walk me there. "Gallant" was then included and further cemented when he took my hand as we strolled.

Upon arrival, he kissed me goodbye (swagger, absolutely), said he'd be in touch and looked forward to seeing me again when he returned. After he left I thought about the ease of those two dates. No drama, just two single adults enjoying each other's company. It was comfortable, normal and sane. There was also physical chemistry and in the digital dating arena that's wildly refreshing.

Later that evening, my cell rang. It was an unfamiliar number from the state where he resided and I figured he was calling from his home phone. Here's the conversation:

Me (cheerfully): Hello?
Caller: Hi, this is the wife of the guy you just dated.
Me: (stunned silence)
Caller (furious): You know, RJ, the guy you met on Tinder?
Caller: This is his wife and he's busted BIG TIME.
Me: (still shocked and silent)
Caller: Maybe you should lose his number.
Me: (yep, I was still mute)
Caller: He's married.
Caller: I don't suppose he told you he's married?
Me: No.
Caller: No, of course not but he won't be for long. Maybe you should keep his number.
Me: No, I don't think so.
Caller (clearly repeating for his benefit): You don't think so.
Caller: OK, goodbye.

I amended my, ahem, expert opinion to include "rotten cheat."

Still reeling, I thought about any clue I had overlooked. No wedding band tan lines, he gave me his cell number and was openly affectionate, even relaxed, in public. There wasn't a thing I missed.

Or was there?

It seems when it comes to matters of the heart, even a battle scarred realist can get played. I was caught up in our connection -- the rarefied digital dating experience -- when his words should have prompted me to take a step back and do some Google creeping. Let's look at what he said again.

"With online dating, people aren't going to tell the whole truth about their lives."

Preach, RJ.

A version of this post first appeared on Melani's website:
www.melanirobinson.com

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

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Wholesale Competition and Open Access Regimes: Experimental Evidence

Niklas Horstmann, Karlsruhe Institute of Technology, Jan Kraemer, University of Passau, and Daniel Schnurr, Karlsruhe Institute of Technology examine Wholesale Competition and Open Access Regimes: Experimental Evidence. ABSTRACT: We investigate the effects of wholesale competition and alternative open access regimes...

20150826 - In 2 states, sexual assault laws lag far behind the mainstream

In 2 states, sexual assault laws lag far behind the mainstream August 25, 2015 by Bernice Yeung, Center for Investigative Reporting 2015-08-25

22 Sexy Songs That Give Female Masturbation The Love It Deserves

In August, Hailee Steinfeld released her debut single and music video -- an upbeat song called "Love Myself." With lyrics like "know how to satisfy, keeping that tempo right without you" and "I'm gonna touch the pain away, I know how to scream my own name," the song has earned praise from many female listeners who consider it a bonafide "masturbation anthem."

Admittedly, the lyrics are ambiguous enough to assume that "Love Myself" is just a fun pop song about feeling empowered, but when Steinfeld appears in the music video wearing a leotard with the words "self service," any doubts about the song's "menage à moi" meaning are quelled.

With "Love Myself," Hailee Steinfeld joins a special group of female artists who have released songs about paddling the pink canoe. Here are 21 other examples. While they all may not have been written with masturbation in mind, their lyrics sure do suggest solo sex 

1. "B.O.B." by Macy Gray

In July, Macy Gray released "B.O.B." -- a love anthem to her vibrator (aka "Battery-Operated Better"). Even better than the song itself is the animated music video full of colorful dancing sex toys. 

2. "I Touch Myself" by Divinyls 

"I Touch Myself" was the top-selling single by Divinyls, whose lead singer Christina Amphlett was known for her "raunchy, high-energy" performances. The early '90s hit got straight to the point with lyrics like, "when I think about you, I touch myself."

3. "Feeling Myself" by Nicki Minaj and Beyoncé

Beyoncé and Nicki Minaj have never shied away from infusing female sexuality into their art, and "Feeling Myself" is no exception. "Back off, cause I"m feelin' myself, jack off," raps Nicki Minaj. Enough said.

4. "Fingers" by P!nk

"When it’s late at night and you’re fast a sleep, I let my fingers do the walking," P!nk sings in "Fingers," a bonus track off her 2006 album "I'm Not Dead."

5. "Kicks" by FKA Twigs

In "Kicks," FKA Twigs sings about getting off all by herself, with lyrics like, "When I'm alone, I don't need you. I love my touch, know just what to do."

6. "Haircut" by The Waifs

Australian folk rock band The Waifs make a clear reference to masturbation in the fourth verse of the breakup song "Haircut": "So now when I make love I make love to myself ... I got my hands in my pants down my Calvin Kleins. I don't need you no more baby, I can come every time"

7. "If" by Janet Jackson

The lyrics to Janet Jackson's "If" speak of sexual fantasies and self service. "I've closed my eyes and thought of us a hundred different ways," she sings. "I've gotten there so many times I wonder how bout you." Jackson's song "Take Care" from her album "20 Y.O." explores the same theme as she sings about being in a "sexy mood" and deciding to "lay here and take care of it 'til you come home to me."

8. "Forgiven" by Alanis Morissette

"Forgiven" touches on masturbation in a more philosophical way as it covers themes of Catholic guilt and sexuality. The line, "My brothers they never went blind for what they did, but I may as well have" refers to the religiously rooted superstition that masturbation causes blindness.

9. "I Don't Need A Man" by The Pussycat Dolls

"I don't need a man to make me feel good. I get off doing my thing," Nicole Scherzinger sings in this song off The Pussycat Dolls' debut studio album "PCD." The chorus ends with, "I can get off when you ain't around."

10. "Me and My Vibrator" by Suzie Seacell

With lyrics like "It may not look like Robert Redford... but when I turn it on full throttle, I feel just like a movie star," it's surprising that this 1979 song isn't more well-known. In fact, it's difficult to track down any information about this singer and song, other than the fact that it appears on "The Rhino Brothers' Circus Royale" compilation album.

11. "Icicle" by Tori Amos

Many interpret Tori Amos' "Icicle" to be about a girl masturbating upstairs in her room while her parents' church group is downstairs. "And when my hand touches myself, I can finally rest my head," she sings, later adding. "Getting off, getting off, while they're all downstairs.

12. "Oops (Oh My)" by Tweet, featuring Missy Elliott

"I was feeling so good, I had to touch myself" raps Missy Elliott in "Oops (Oh My)," the lead single off Tweet's 2002 debut album "Southern Hummingbird."

13. "Body of My Own" by Charli XCX

Charli XCX's upbeat "Body of My Own" is a self-pleasure-themed song with lines like, "I don't need you -- my touch is better" and "Yeah, I can do it better when I'm all alone."

14. "Touch of My Hand" by Britney Spears

Accompanying other sexy songs like "Toxic," "Touch Of My Hand" helps sets the mood for Britney Spears' 2003 album "In The Zone." The chorus includes masturbation-related lyrics like, "Imagination’s taking over -- another day without a lover, the more I come to understand the touch of my hand."

15. "Sexxx Dreams" by Lady Gaga 

"When I lay in bed I touch myself and I think of you,” sings Lady Gaga in this song about her erotic fantasies. 

16. "Birth in Reverse" by St. Vincent

Though the whole song is not exactly about solo sex, the first line of "Birth in Reverse" mentions it as a part of the protagonist's routine -- "Oh what an ordinary day. Take out the garbage, masturbate."

17. "First Orgasm" by The Dresden Dolls

Amanda Palmer herself confirmed that "First Orgasm" is about masturbation, though she added that it's also about loneliness. The Dresden Dolls' "Coin-Operated Boy" also suggests themes of masturbation as it explores the idea of the pleasure of love without the "complications" of a real partner.

18. "Wiggley Fingers" by Patty Griffin

In a 1998 interview after the release of her album "Flaming Red," Patty Griffin said she wrote the song "Wiggley Fingers" in response to the Pope's condemnation of masturbation in the 1990s.

19. "Vibe On" by Dannii Minogue

Singer-songwriter, television personality, and little sister of Kylie Minogue, Dannii Minogue is very straightforward in her vibrator ode, "Vibe On." She sings, "I don't wanna put you down. Looks like I'm a vibraholic now."

20. "Strict Machine" by Goldfrapp

While many believe "Strict Machine" has more abstract meanings about love, sexuality and machinery, other listeners suggest that it sounds like it refers to "accessorized masturbation."

21. "You're Making Me High" by Toni Braxton

Toni Braxton's "You're Making Me High" is another song with lyrics about getting off alone while fantasizing about someone in particular. Case in point: "With just the thought of you, I can't help but touch myself."

 

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20150826 - Texas court halts execution after defense says a witness lied

Texas court halts execution after defense says a witness lied August 26, 2015 Associated Press 2015-08-26