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Most Downloaded SSRN Antitrust Law Professors (Full time) in the past year
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7 Pieces Of Marriage Advice For Realists, Not Romantics
Sick of reading the same tired relationship advice about never going to bed angry and the importance of date night?
We hear ya. Below, relationship and marriage experts share seven unconventional pieces of marital advice.
1. Go out without your spouse and remember what it felt like to be single.
The axiom is 100 percent true: Absence makes the heart grow fonder and often leads to spouses actually missing each other -- a hard feeling to recapture after years of being together, said Jenny Block, the author of Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage.
"It's important to take some time to get back to being who you were before you got married," she said. "Reconnect with friends. Dive back into the hobbies and pastimes you enjoyed. Do you. Not 'couple you' or 'married you.' Just you. In the process, you may be surprised at how much you're reminded of why you fell in love with each other in the first place."
2. Talk to your spouse in public the same way you did on your first date.
If you love your partner, be respectful of them in public, said Deb Besinger, a life and relationship coach based in Raleigh, North Carolina. Quite simply, don't become the loudmouth couple at dinner who has no problem berating each other between bites of salmon. (Really, no one wants to be that couple.)
"Never name call or dishonor your spouse in public," Besinger cautioned. "This seems like a no-brainer but it's harder to do when you're annoyed with your spouse than you realize."
3. Don't expect your spouse to fulfill your every need.
These days, we depend on our spouses to fulfill and satisfy us in every way -- and that expectation is terrible for marriages, said Greg Cason, a Los Angeles-based therapist.
"Marriages today are folding under the weight of our own expectations: Why do we expect our spouses to be our best friend, dinner companion, dance partner, sexual playmate, money-earner, maid, cook, fix-it person, confidant, caretaker, soul mate, biggest fan, stalwart supporter, chauffeur, dog-walker and bestie, among other things?"
If you're struggling to cut your partner some slack, Cason suggests reciting this Marriage Serenity Prayer: "Grant me the serenity to appreciate what my spouse does provide, the courage to accept the things my spouse does not provide and the wisdom to get those needs met elsewhere."
4. Find your own definition of monogamy.
Today, many couples are exploring versions of monogamy tailored to their own needs. While an open marriage isn't for everyone, there are happily married people who've pursued flings and relationships outside their marriages with their spouse's permission, said Susan Pease Gadoua, a marriage therapist and the co-author of The New I Do, Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebel.
"When couples fall out of love or lust, they think the only 'right' option is to end it," she said. "But some partners become monogamish (a term coined by Dan Savage): they give each other permission to go outside the marriage in order to get their sexual needs met."
5. Stop holding your spouse to an impossible standard.
Your spouse is a flawed, imperfect person who acts out when they're hangry and will disappoint you time and time again. The same holds true for you. Don't set yourself up for failure by expecting each other to be soulmates who rarely fight and read each other's minds, Block said.
"Marriage is not about perfection: It's not about finding someone who completes you and makes you feel like a princess," she said. "Marriage is about being perfectly imperfect for and with one another. It's about loving each other and the life you have built together because of all the delightful imperfections, not in spite of them."
6. Take a vacation from your marriage.
It's not going to kill you to spend a weekend -- or a few weeks -- away from your spouse. In fact, it could benefit your marriage, especially if you're experiencing a rough patch, Cason said.
"Sometimes what you really need is a break," he said. "Some couples schedule one weekend a year to take a real break from each other. Others, a week or so. If things are very bad, consider living separately for a few months. Work with a therapist to set up rules including how much contact to have with each other and what you're going to tell your mothers when they ask about it."
7. Recognize that you're not immune to infidelity.
Anyone is susceptible to cheating. If you're in it for the long haul, it's almost inevitable that one or both of you may struggle to stay faithful, whether it's the temptation of an emotional affair or something more physical, Besinger said.
"While no one wakes up one morning and decides, 'this is the day I'm going to cheat on my spouse,' the perfect storm of circumstances, emotions and opportunity can cause an affair to happen for just about anyone."
To stave off infidelity as much as possible, try having an open, honest discussion about it: What's missing from your relationship that might potentially cause you to cheat? How would you handle the fallout of an affair?
"Talk about it and become very intentional about preventing the opportunity," she said. "Be honest with each other: if something unavoidable came up, how would we handle it and if we stayed together, what would our future look like?"
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
20160429 - Amicus Brief by Profs. Barbara Creel and John LaVelle receives national attention
Amicus Brief by Profs. Barbara Creel and John LaVelle receives national attention
April 25, 2016
by Tamara Williams, UNM School of Law
2016-04-25
Thursday, April 28, 2016
201604428 - A Death Sentence in Louisiana Rarely Means You'll be Executed
A Death Sentence in Louisiana Rarely Means You'll be Executed
April 28, 2017
by Maurice Chammah, The Marshall Project
2016-04-28
How to Fulfill Your Potential After Divorce By Not Letting It Define You
My friend, Shawn Phillips, and I often delve deeply into conversations about life at every level. Recently Shawn shared this post about life after divorce, which moved me. I believe everyone should fulfill his or her potential in life, particularly after divorce. It's worth sharing and discussing further:
As I was working on something this morning... this book, this work, came to mind. This is the ultimate guide to the changes in life that set us back and set us free.
Be it a loss of a business, a death in the family, the loss of a marriage or any other number of life events... they are all Transitions and gateways to transformations.
Why share this? Because it reminds me of something I've felt for a long time... it's not about divorce.
Divorce is not how I define myself any more than closing a company or ending a contract is how I define myself.
My dad died 10 years ago and I have yet to ever tell someone I am a widowed son. In fact, I hate the forms and documents that ask you, "Married, Single or D..." It's really offensive and in many cases completely pointless. Why... am I an insurance risk if Divorced? Haaa.
Divorce is one of the many life events that can be a catalyst to greater awakening, freedom and strength. It can also be very difficult.... emotionally and financially challenging. As can other events.
Are you allowing divorce to define you?
Are you choosing to be labeled as divorced?
You can and should free yourself from the "D" moniker. That chapter of your life is closed.
- Instead of thinking about failure, think about new beginnings.
- Instead of thinking of loss, think of the new people and new relationships in your future.
- Instead of thinking about what you don't have, think about what you DO have.
- Instead of thinking about what's happened, I want you to think about what is going to happen!
Now, on to the next chapter. A new chapter. One designed by you, for you. It's a clean slate. The future is yours.... You are free, unbound by any labels.
- Try to get clear about WHO you want to be.
- Figure out what your WHY is. What are you passionate about?
- Get clear about your FUTURE.
It's good to dream. Dream big. Paint a vivid picture in your mind of the life you want to live. Think of this daily.
There is a process to this evolution, this growth. You can absolutely do it alone, or you can get help. I lead a program for Fulfilling Your Potential After Divorce and there are other resources readily available.
Either way, I encourage you to commit to growth. Commit to living an inspirational & empowered future unlimited by your past. You don't have to live in negativity, loss, fear, stress, anxiety.... You deserve the life you desire.
It comes down to YOU. The greatest lie of all time is "someone else". Trust me, nobody else is going to do this for you.
Dig in. Commit to do the self-work. And then, DO the work. You will be overwhelmingly pleased with the results.
I truly want you to live an inspirational & empowered future unlimited by your past.
After all, Life is a Gift! Make it a great one!
~ bill
30 years of strategic, entrepreneurial business growth along with two brushes with death have earned him the tag "ResilienceGuy". Bill Douglas is an accomplished Mentor, Coach & Speaker helping entrepreneurs & executives with growth and strength.
Reach Bill: Email | LinkedIn | Twitter | Facebook | Blog
FREE for ANYONE: Reboot your Life!
Facebook Group for Divorced Entrepreneurs & Executives
Fulfilling Your Potential After Divorce
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-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
Why vertical restraints? New evidence from a business survey
Congress Renews Older Americans Act
Wednesday, April 27, 2016
Raising the Etiquette Bar: New York State Matrimonial Lawyers and the Challenge of Civility
Some may scoff. Behaving properly may make us...well...proper, but it can't make us happy. As a New York matrimonial lawyer and the granddaughter of Rita Borer, I side with Baldrige.
Nana gave me Letitia Baldrige's Complete Guide to the New Manners for the 90s in 1990, when I was 9. I devoured the 646-page book. Nana was a diminutive, immaculately and stylishly dressed interior designer who valued perfect etiquette. As a little girl, I once took a piece of her gum from a countertop without asking; when she found out, she told me that "it isn't right to steal." When she and my grandfather took one of their many overseas trips, packing was a 2-day-long affair. Shoes were individually wrapped in velvet bags before they were placed in their final resting place: the suitcase. Even when she was quite old, after my grandfather passed away, when Nana and I would eat meals together at her dining room table, she would become quite agitated when I didn't use a coaster.
I don't remember most of the content of Complete Guide to the New Manners for the 90s, but the book (and Nana) had a profound impact on me vis-à-vis manners. This presents a unique challenge for me, a lawyer who works in an area of law not vaunted for courteousness. Matrimonial lawyers must contend with clients who may be at one of the lowest points in their personal lives. It can be difficult for a client dealing with intense emotional strife to maintain composure. Often, the aggregated load of juggling multiple jittery clients will pass to their lawyer, whose interactions with opposing counsel will be affected in a less than ideal way.
To be sure, it is never pleasant and is almost uniformly stressful for a client to be involved in a lawsuit. This is true for corporate clients, who usually have massive amounts of money at stake. But corporate lawyers must maintain composure and observe decorum. It is part of the strategy of winning. And no client would more desire to extricate himself from a lawsuit than a criminal defense client, for whom not money but personal liberty is on the line. But the criminal lawyer -- whether prosecution or defense -- zealously guards his or her hard-won reputation. Uncivil or hot-headed behavior, either inside or outside the courtroom, generally will not benefit the criminal lawyer or his client.
Given that the matrimonial bar is composed of fine and honorable lawyers, why are matrimonial lawyers more vulnerable to unrestrained behavior than their corporate and criminal colleagues? First, billing problems abound. It can be frustrating for a matrimonial lawyer to interact with a client who does not meet his financial obligations (to his lawyer, or to others), and resentment can infect comportment. Second, after experiencing drama in their own domestic lives, in court, and in observations of opposing counsel, many clients come to expect theatrics from their own counsel. Third, it can be more expedient for a matrimonial lawyer to deliver histrionics than to relentlessly fight the good fight to remain even-handed when a client is hounding the lawyer to raise his voice or magnify his gesticulations, regardless of whether a change in volume or broader waves of the hand would (in the attorney's reasoned and experienced judgment) change the outcome. The hyperbole bar is high in the matrimonial bar, and this reality seeps into matrimonial counsel's interactions with one another. And unfortunately, as Baldrige observes, interacting with colleagues in a less than courteous way can make matrimonial lawyers frustrated and angry.
Is there a solution? Should there be a solution? When law students or other prospective matrimonial lawyers ask whether this area of law would be a good fit for their skill set, one threshold question is worth considering: "Which is your bigger nightmare: in one day, fielding eight hysterical phone calls from a client complaining about personal problems she is having with her estranged spouse, or spending eight hours redacting documents?" For almost all lawyers (or would-be lawyers), the answer is a no-brainer: they'd prefer to redact. A small percentage would prefer the phone calls. These good candidates for careers in matrimonial law are tasked with finding a way to negotiate these calls (and calls with opposing counsel, and all other attendant unpleasant tasks) with the obligation to behave in a civil manner, and the desire to maintain cordial relationships with colleagues and clients and a reasonable work-life balance that allows for a happy life inside and outside of work.
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
Judge says Amazon must refund parents for in-app purchases made by children
A federal judge on Tuesday agreed with the Federal Trade Commission that Amazon.com Inc. didn't do enough to disclose to parents that children could potentially…
20160427 - Man accused in gun attack says he's victim of mistaken identification
Man accused in gun attack says he's victim of mistaken identification
April 26, 2016
by Bruce Vielmetti, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
2016-04-26
Fordham 43rd Annual Conference on International Antitrust Law and Policy, 22–23 September 2016
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
Merger Policy at the Federal Trade Commission: What, If Anything, Has Changed?
What I Regret About My Divorce (It Isn't What You Think)
There is so much I would change if I were able to. I feel safe in saying that every single divorced person would make changes, given the opportunity.
I don't regret the divorce itself. I knew I was in a marriage that needed to end.
What I do regret are all the mistakes I made on my way out.
No one is prepared for divorce. We aren't taught in school what to do if we separate or divorce. We used to take Home Economics in high school not Home Reck-O-Nomics.
So what do most of us do? We immediately hire a lawyer.
(A quick note--get a matrimonial lawyer that practices in your state. Avoid a lawyer that doesn't specialize in divorce, even if he's cheaper.)
Now don't get me wrong. When it comes to the dissolution of a legal contract, your marriage, you want legal representation. But, you need to be your own advocate. You have to look out for yourself.
You must educate yourself about the divorce process and what lies ahead.
I had no idea what to do. I've never been divorced before, so I let my lawyer lead the way. This mistake cost me a fortune. It isn't that my lawyer was bad, quite the contrary. What cost me so much was my lack of knowledge on the topic and the process ahead of me.
I didn't question, I didn't fully understand, I merely accepted what I was told and what was placed before me.
Had I been better prepared with my case and documents and knowing from the beginning what my goals were, I could have saved money back then. A lot of it.
Had I fully understood the ramifications of the terms placed in before me I would have fought to change them and I would have suffered less in the years ahead.
This is what a friend who was divorcing recently told me:
"I'm getting divorced for the first time. My lawyer has performed hundreds of divorces. Shouldn't he have known what was coming up and protected me?"
So many divorced people say something similar to this. I mean we hire lawyers to protect us, because they're supposed to know everything, right?
So why are so many dissatisfied with their outcomes?
It's because we blindly put our future lives in their hands but no one cares as much about your future as you do.
More importantly, no one fully understands your situation and what you and your ex are capable of.
I believe that in divorce there are key points that lawyers know to deal with and key issues they will help you resolve but each divorce is very unique.
There are no cookie cutter templates that will cover all circumstances of all divorces.
Because of this, it's up to you to go over your divorce agreement and question everything. Make sure you fully understand what you are signing.
If there is a point in the draft of your agreement that is open to interpretation, fix it. Specific is your friend. Vague will end you up in front of a mediator or back in court somewhere down the line and that will cost you a fortune.
I should have spoken to people who were divorced and asked them what mistakes they made and where were they smart during their negotiations.
I should have asked for their advice on how to save money during the process and what were the terms they wish they could change.
I should have put the time in and done my homework.
How different my life would be.
Think about it, if you had a good friend that was divorced wouldn't you ask their advice to see the pitfalls coming your way? Wouldn't you want to know where they were smart and what mistakes they made during negotiations?
Think of the advantage you would have. Think of the time and money you would save. Think of all the frustration and anguish you could avoid.
For more on advice from those who have gone before you, see this HuffPost article.
Get out there with a list of questions to ask every divorced person you can get a hold of. You'd be surprised how eager they are to tell their story.
Now take all those experiences you acquired, and go get a lawyer. You will better be able to manage your divorce attorney, your costs and your expectations.
You'll know what to expect in the coming months and can plan for it.
You'll know what you're willing to give in on and what is important to you.
You'll know what to ask for and what to look out for during the negotiation of your lifetime.
Don't be fooled. What you negotiate during your divorce will legally rule your life for years to come.
Don't agree to divorce terms just because you want out. So many make this mistake. Think, "How will this decision affect my life in 5, 10 or even 15 years from now?"
You don't realize how little you know. That's why I strongly suggest you do your homework and speak to as many divorced people as you can.
Get 'street-smart' and learn from their costly mistakes. It's a free education you can't afford to pass up.
Al writes more on the things you've got to know about divorce on Divorce Candor
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
20160426 - Military commission machinations: Another effort at changing the rules in the middle of the process
Military commission machinations: Another effort at changing the rules in the middle of the process
April 26, 2016
by Joshua L. Dratel, The Hill Congress Blog
2016-04-26
Monday, April 25, 2016
Coordination within a Supply Chain with a Profit Sharing Contract
20160425 - Federal Judge Gives Prisoners a Heads Up On a Quicker Chance at Freedom
Federal Judge Gives Prisoners a Heads Up On a Quicker Chance at Freedom
April 22, 2016
by Katheryn Hayes Tucker, Daily Report
2016-04-22
Top Adoption Law Questions
Saturday, April 23, 2016
10th Anniversary Colloquium: Global Antitrust Enforcement 10 years and Beyond Friday 3 June 2016, 08:15 - 15:45
Friday, April 22, 2016
CBA Competition Law Spring Conference May 19, 2016 Toronto
National Parks on Earth Day: How to Stay Safe
Uber to pay up to $100M to settle claims of misclassification by drivers in 2 states
With a June trial looming in a California class action by 240,000 current and former drivers who claimed they were misclassified as independent contractors, Uber…
Thursday, April 21, 2016
Teachers: How to Talk to Students About Privilege, Legally
20160421 - Bill addressing child interrogation may get new life
Bill addressing child interrogation may get new life
April 19, 2016
by Scott Broden, Daily News Journal
2016-04-19
Pacer fees are too high, class action alleges
The Administrative Office of the U.S. Courts illegally charges excessive fees for Pacer, the federal electronic court records system, a lawsuit (PDF) filed…
Banking Competition and Shrouded Attributes: Evidence from the US Mortgage Market
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
Lawmakers ask ABA why it withdrew book offer to Chinese human rights lawyer
Two Republican lawmakers are asking the ABA for “additional clarification” about its decision to withdraw a book offer made to a Chinese human rights lawyer.
…
How the Sunk Costs of Incumbents Make Entrants Important for Innovation: A Model and Implications for Policy
Mother Facing Kidnapping Charges in Australian Custody Dispute Is Released
What to Do When You Can't Pay Your Lawyer
20160420 - Lawful Hacking: Should, Or Can, The FBI Learn To Overcome Encryption Itself?
Lawful Hacking: Should, Or Can, The FBI Learn To Overcome Encryption Itself?
April 19, 2016
by Alina Selyukh, NPR
2016-04-19
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
20160419 - Opinion: Supreme Court Must Hear Texas Man's Death Penalty Case
Opinion: Supreme Court Must Hear Texas Man's Death Penalty Case
April 18, 2016
by Seth P. Waxman, The National Law Journal
2016-04-18
Travel Alert: EU Lawmakers Approve Air Passenger Data Sharing
Rape test results take too long, prosecutor says
There's a national backlog for rape test results, and in Cook County the process takes about one year, its state's attorney said Thursday.
Speaking at…
Monday, April 18, 2016
7 Best Legal Tips for Landlords
Former BigLaw IT engineer gets 9 years, owes $1.69M for hack into Locke Lord's computer system
A former information technology engineer for Locke Lord was sentenced Thursday to more than nine years in federal prison for hacking into the 1,000-attorney firm's…
Galp Energía España: Limitations on the General Court's Unlimited Jurisdiction to Review Decisions Imposing Fines
20160418 - Virginia Man Exonerated After 30 Years Behind Bars
Virginia Man Exonerated After 30 Years Behind Bars
April 18, 2016
by Sandy Hausman, WVTF
2016-04-18
Saturday, April 16, 2016
Passover 2016 Videos
Friday, April 15, 2016
Attorney General Loretta E. Lynch Announces Renata B. Hesse to Serve as Head of Antitrust Division
20160415 - A key Minnesota drunk-driving law may be in jeopardy in case before U.S. Supreme Court
A key Minnesota drunk-driving law may be in jeopardy in case before U.S. Supreme Court
April 12, 2016
by Sam Brody, MinnPost
2016-04-12
What Hourly Rate Should I Expect When Hiring a Lawyer?
Federal judge plans to sanction 16 lawyers for 'gamesmanship' and 'forum shopping'
After issuing a show-cause order earlier this year, a federal judge has now lowered the boom.
In a Thursday decision, Chief U.S. District Judge P.K.…
Thursday, April 14, 2016
What a Typical Child Visitation Schedule Looks Like
20160414 - Microsoft sues over law banning tech firms from telling customers about data requests
Microsoft sues over law banning tech firms from telling customers about data requests
April 14, 2016
by Ellen Nakashima, The Washington Post
2016-04-14
7 Problems Every Couple Inevitably Faces, According To Therapists
When a relationship is brand new, loving your partner comes easy. You're still hyper curious about each other and growing as a couple every day. But eventually, you're bound to encounter some roadblocks that will test your love.
Below, marriage therapists share seven major challenges every couple faces and how to navigate them.
1. You learn your partner can't really be your everything.
We expect a lot from our partners: They should be our soulmates, our BFFs, our sounding boards, our financial and career advisers, our sexual partners and our parenting partners. The truth is, though, it's nearly impossible for any human being to meet all of those demands, said St. Louis-based therapist Angela Skurtu.
"Those needs can be addressed by a variety of people, including yourself," she said. "For instance, if you're an extrovert married to an introvert, chances are you may need to have a few extra friends to hang out with other than your spouse. That doesn't mean you can't go out with each other as well. It just means that you have to find another way to meet your need for extroversion."
2. Your phone will come between you and your partner.
When you first started dating, your phone was a welcome middleman in your relationship: You'd text each other through the night and send cute heart-eyed emojis throughout the day. But the longer you're together, the more likely it is that your smart phone will get in the way of your connection as a couple, said Andrea Wachter, a psychotherapist based in Northern California.
"It's so easy in our fast-paced, plugged-in culture to lose touch with the connection we once had in those early days of dating," Wachter told us.
To prove to your partner that face time with them in real life is more important than screen time, surprise them one night by putting your phone away and telling them you want to have an actual device-free conversation.
"Truly focus on what they have to say," Wachter said. "Remind yourself that if it's important enough for them to share it with you, it deserves your undivided attention."
3. The sex isn't always going to be hot.
Prepare yourself for some lackluster sex at some point: From changes in sexual desire to disconnected schedules and just being too damn busy, action in the bedroom is bound to get put on the back burner eventually. To get past a breakdown in intimacy, Wachter says couples need to prioritize simply touching each other, even if it doesn't culminate in having sex.
"Lack of intimacy is often a result of deeper issues," she said. "Couples need to let go of sex as the ultimate goal and start simpler, with hand holding, kissing or a massage. The more you treat each other like friends who take the time to to know one another in all ways, the more likely you are to rekindle the spark of love and intimacy."
4. You're not going to meet all your #relationshipgoals.
You likely entered into the relationship with long-held ideas about what it means to be in love: You thought you'd never spend more than three nights apart, just like your parents, or you hoped you'd learn each other's love language and truly act according to them.
While relationship goals are great, the truth is, some of your expectations will probably never be met, said Laurel Steinberg, a sex and relationship therapist and adjunct professor of psychology at Columbia University.
Look on the bright side, though: Some of your expectations will likely be exceeded. "You just need to keep your expectations as 'wants' and not 'needs,'" Steinberg suggested.
5. Your partner won't let go of their bad habits.
It drove you nuts the first time she stayed over and left globs of hair in the shower drain. In an ideal world, you'd politely mention it once or twice and she'd soon enough change her ways -- but you're not living in that ideal world. Loving your S.O. means accepting their bad habits, said Stephanie Buehler, a psychologist and sex therapist in Southern California. She used an example from her own marriage to illustrate her point:
My husband of 30 years frequently eats a banana in the morning and then leaves the peel in the sink. It doesn't matter that he trained me to put my used, wet tea bags in the trash instead of the sink because my habit drove him nuts -- he still does it with the peel. This is where love comes in handy, as well as compassion. It must be difficult for my husband to remember to put his peel down the disposal or into the trash. I have compassion for him. I love him. Therefore, I continue to remind him, but I also just deal with his banana peel for him. That's marriage right there.
6. Money will come between you and your spouse.
The Beatles were wrong when they claimed "all you need is love." You also need the ability to navigate some truly rocky financial waters together, said Amanda Deverich, a marriage and family therapist based in Williamsburg, Virginia.
"From what I've seen, financial stress is a leading cause of depression in men and depression often causes partners to withdraw and makes it more difficult for couples to solve problems," she said.
To offset money-related stressors, band together as a team to tackle problems as they come, said Deverich. "If you don't, one partner will become responsible for the money and that will create a lopsided dynamic that causes resentment and distance."
7. Monogamy will prove to be a challenge.
Staying faithful is hard work. You're inevitably going to be attracted to other people, you'll wonder if you made the right choice in settling for just one partner, and it's quite likely that one or even both of you will be tempted to have an emotional or physical affair. Infidelity is more common than you'd think, said Buehler.
The important thing to remember is that while staying monogamous is hard, it's totally worth the effort -- if you both want it.
"You have to have an open conversation about monogamy because it is restrictive and probably unnatural," said Buehler. "But going to work in a car every morning is unnatural, too -- we still do it, though, because like monogamy, it has benefits."
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
Monopolizing Water in a Tsunami: Finding Sensible Antitrust Rules for Big Data
Supreme Court's contraceptive compromise might work, parties say
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Wednesday, April 13, 2016
Assessment of antitrust agencies' impact and performance: an analytical framework
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…
After the Skilled Worker Visa Lottery, Are There Options?
20160413 - Hundreds of Migrant Teens Are Being Held Indefinitely in Locked Detention
Hundreds of Migrant Teens Are Being Held Indefinitely in Locked Detention
April 11, 2016
by Tyche Hendricks, KQED
2016-04-11
17 Small But Oh-So-Wonderful Perks Of Being Single
Fresh out of a relationship and not entirely sure how to feel? Embrace it. Being single is a permission slip to do whatever you want, whenever you want. (Leftover pizza for breakfast? No judgement! Flirting with that cute, previously off-limits trainer at the gym? Go for it.)
Below, people on Whisper -- an an app that lets users share their thoughts anonymously -- share 17 tiny perks that make single life so amazing.
Uncover the major key to looking good, feeling better and performing your best with HuffPost's "Recharge" on Snapchat Discover.
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
Australian Mother and 8 Others Face Charges in Lebanon Custody Dispute
Teachers Challenge Law Barring Sex With Teen Students
11 Hard Truths About Being A Stepmom
Nothing can prepare you for life as a new stepmom -- except maybe women who've weathered the initial storms themselves.
Below, stepmothers who blog for HuffPost share their best advice on getting through the early challenges of life in a blended family.
1. Always put your marriage first.
"People often look at me funny when I say that my relationship with my husband is my number one priority! They ask, 'Umm, don't you guys have four kids to worry about?' Yes, yes we do! But my husband is the reason I am a stepmom in the first place. When our relationship is solid, we are better equipped to handle our stepfamily stressors. Not to mention, we are way more attentive, patient and united as parents." -- Jamie Scrimgeour, founder of The Kick-Ass Stepmom Project
2. You'll sometimes feel like you're competing with your partner's ex.
"Don't compare households, don't compete with the other household and don't criticize the other household. Take the high road, always." -- Kelly Chaplin, travel writer at Think Language
3. You may not love your stepkids initially.
"While you may feel pressured to be warm, all-accepting and loving with your stepchildren from the very beginning, it's OK to start out with a little distance. Give yourself permission to gradually discover their authentic, vulnerable selves and fall in love. And by all means, don't try to change or 'save' them. If you love their dad, chances are, his kids will be awesome, too, but let love develop on its own timetable." -- Jennifer Newcomb Marine, co-author of Skirts At War: Beyond Divorced Mom/Stepmom Conflict
4. Wasting your time and energy disliking his ex is pointless.
"His ex-wife is his ex-wife for a reason. Don't allow her to rent space in your head for free." -- Peggy Nolan, author of Inspiration for a Woman's Soul: Choosing Happiness
5. Don't be too hard on yourself.
"There will be tough times. There will be setbacks. Mothers tend to be so hard on themselves and sometimes I think that's even more true of stepmothers. Apologize if you need to, set ground rules if it helps, but don't be too hard on yourself if you find yourself in a tough spot as a stepparent. Remember, this isn't easy." -- Christine Nestrick, blogger at Tired, Happy Mama
6. At best, your stepkids are going to be ambivalent about you and your marriage.
"Even though you're excited about being newly married, your new beginning often feels like a loss to the kids. So just be aware that they may not be as excited as you are and don't take it personally; it's not that they don't like you, they're just trying to deal with their own pain and change in family dynamics." --Jenna Kort, certified stepfamily coach and co-author of Skirts At War: Beyond Divorced Mom/Stepmom Conflict
7. Child support is going to cut into your monthly expenses.
"Depending on the divorce settlement, new stepmoms need to understand the financial health of their new husband. Child support is his responsibility. And it's going to be an expense." -- Peggy Nolan
8. Ignore the gossip.
"Being a stepmom can make you a target for gossip. If you feel yourself being dragged down or worried about the talk, remind yourself that the only thing that matters is your relationship with your family. What people were saying had no effect on me and my family." -- Kelly Chaplin
9. No one can fix your partner's co-parenting relationship but your partner and his ex.
"Women are natural caregivers. We are fixers. So naturally, stepmoms approach conflict with their husband and his ex-wife with rose-colored glasses, thinking they may be able to fix the co-parenting problems. It's important to realize that you're probably not going to solve their problems, because despite appearing simple, they are deep-rooted and complex. Trying to fix what you didn't break often results in hurt feelings, disappointment, resentment and burnout." -- Jamie Scrimgeour
10. You're going to need some fellow stepmoms in your corner.
"Join or start your own support group and don't let it turn into merely a 'mom bashing' session. No positive outcome comes from that." -- Laura Petherbridge, author of 101 Tips for the Smart Stepmom
11. Stepparenting is hard as hell. Remind yourself of that daily.
"Becoming a stepmom is the hardest role any woman will undertake. Your first priority is yourself (self-care is super important) and your marriage. When you and your new husband put yourselves first, everyone benefits and your marriage thrives." -- Peggy Nolan
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
Trial judge asks how grenade-like device works: Police officer pulls pin, and it explodes
A trial in an anti-terrorism court in Pakistan was dramatically halted on Monday after the judge asked a police officer how an explosive-that authorities say…
20160412 - Why This Man Is Being Called 'America's Nelson Mandela'
Why This Man Is Being Called 'America's Nelson Mandela'
April 11, 2016
by Britni Danielle, TakePart
2016-04-11
FTC Workshop Announcement: Something New Under the Sun: Competition and Consumer Protection Issues in Solar Power June 21, 2016
Monday, April 11, 2016
7 Tips for Women Dating After Divorce
Entering the dating pool again as a divorced woman has taught me a lot about myself. I was married at 19 years old to a man I knew for 3 months and now after 14 years of marriage, here I am suddenly a 33-year-old single mom with 3 children. For the first time in my life, I am actually dating and yes, this entire situation is every bit as disastrous as it sounds.
After conquering trials, depression, poverty and obesity, I managed to become a strong, independent fitness model, beauty queen, business professional and published author. Yet when it comes to dating, I turn into a teenage girl; inexperienced, vulnerable and completely naïve. I honestly believe that we don't really age. We stay the same until experience forces us to grow up and change. My life's experiences have forced me to grow wise beyond my years; but when it comes to dating, I am a baby.
I was thrust into a sea of people much more experienced than I am. I envision myself as the elephant in Tarzan fearfully dipping my toe in the water screaming, "Is this water sanitary? It looks questionable to me!"
I know I'm not the only woman out here forced to face the daunting task of "getting back on the saddle," afraid to get hurt, make the wrong move and have to start over. So, I'm here to share a few tips for anyone re-entering the dating pool after an extremely long absence.
1. Take your freaking time and keep your space.
It is so easy to slide back into the comfortability of a long term relationship with someone you just met. Heck, if you're like me, you've lived with a man for several years and you didn't even like him. It is extremely difficult to start the process all over again and go back to the awkwardness of being walked to your door at the end of the night. But it is worth it. Seriously though, slow down and take your time.
2. Know your standards and keep them.
Before you jump out there again, have a clear understanding of what your standards are. Are there things you aren't willing to do? Do you have non-negotiables? How long do you wait until moving the relationship further? Know the answers to these questions and do not waiver. Every man is going to push you and test to see how far he can go and what he can get away with. It is okay to say "no" and when you do, he will respect you for it.
3. Know what you want and don't waste your time with anything that doesn't fit your desires.
Want a long term relationship? Don't go out with a guy that parties all the time. Want something light? Stay away from the single dads. It's really that simple.
4. Understand that you will feel lonely.
You will feel lonely and miss companionship but the worst thing you can do is rush into something new with someone who simply "fills" your time. Keep your standards and value high. The only person that decides how much you are worth is you.
5. Have a platonic guy friend that gives it to you straight.
Jay, an ex-NFL extremely eligible bachelor is my dating guru. I bounce almost everything off of him. Every time I have a question, he keeps it real with me. Recently, a man I hadn't heard from for several months texted, "When can I see you?" Before answering, I sent a screenshot to Jay who quickly replied, "He sent that to 10 women, seeing who bites. It's a numbers game, don't waste your time." (Thank you, Jay!) Having a guy friend who will tell you the truth is like having a spy on the other side. Find one!
6. Expect to mess up.
When you FINALLY find someone you like for the first time, expect to mess up... royally. I met a man I really liked and for the first time in my life felt jealousy. I did everything wrong. I didn't know what I wanted, was in the comfortable mentality of a long term relationship, didn't want to feel lonely and had no expectations. Because of this, I was a complete basket case, getting jealous and angry over the smallest things, wanting one thing one day and something completely different the next. I've never been called "crazy" in my entire life until that experience and I can't say I disagree with it. I really feel sorry for the poor guy, being at the receiving end of my delayed dating self-discovery. When it was over, I didn't even blame him. I learned from the situation what I should have learned 14 years ago and because of that, I felt gratitude for him and the experience. I didn't beat myself up about it either, I just adjusted and grew.
7. Be brave
It is scary after being hurt in a bad marriage to trust again and start over. It's scary to allow yourself to fall and fail because believe me, you will. You will discover parts of yourself revealing pain and insecurities from your past that you never knew were there. Be willing to fall, be willing to fail, be willing to feel pain, jealousy and other emotions that you may have never felt before. Become comfortable with the uncomfortable while simultaneously becoming an observer of your own life. Acknowledge your mistakes, make the adjustments and be willing to try again.
This is your second chance to get it right. Everything worth having in life requires you to stretch beyond who you currently are. Be grateful, be brave, be an observer, take your time and have some standards. You will be just fine, I promise.
Jessica is the mother of Kahili, Leihualani and La'akea Tevaga. She is a marketing consultant, Co-Author of "20 Beautiful Women," fitness model and was featured on Dr. Dave's nationally broadcasted radio show, "Health Mastery Café." In addition to her roles as mother and provider, in 2013, Jessica's broad achievements were acknowledged as she was crowned to represent the State of Illinois in a National Beauty Pageant.
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
#USImmigrationLaw: What Does 'Changed Circumstances' Mean?
The Price Effects of Cross-Market Hospital Mergers
20160411 - Norman Brown Was Supposed To Die In Prison. Instead He's Pushing Obama To Help Those He Left Behind.
Norman Brown Was Supposed To Die In Prison. Instead He's Pushing Obama To Help Those He Left Behind.
April 9, 2016
by Ryan J. Reilly, The Huffington Post
2016-04-09
SEC sues Texas AG Ken Paxton for securities fraud; his lawyer 'vehemently denies' claims
A lawsuit has been filed against the attorney general of Texas by a federal securities regulator over his claimed conduct in recruiting investors to purchase…
Sunday, April 10, 2016
Khloe Kardashian Gets Real About 'Letting Go' In Heartfelt Instagram Essay
Khloe, are you OK?
The youngest Kardashian sister has always been one to wear her heart on her sleeve, but this lengthy Instagram essay she shared on Sunday might contain her most honest admission yet.
Kardashian posted a quote on Instagram about the impossibility of changing the ones you love. "It doesn't matter how loyal you are to someone," it reads. "You can't change someone's heart and bad habits unless they want to themselves."
In the caption, she described the process of "letting go" and the strength it takes to "stop taking on peoples problems as if they are our own."
"Stop shattering your own heart by trying to make a relationship (friend, family, partner) work that clearly isn't meant to work," she wrote. "We have to stop trying to repaint people's colors. We have to learn to believe the love we AREN'T given. You can't love someone into loving you. (God I wish it were that easy) You can't force someone to be loyal, kind, understanding."
Read her full essay below:
Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself." Letting go with love takes great strength. We have to learn to stop taking on peoples problems as if they are our own. Loving people does not mean we have to carry their burdens and confusions on our back. Sadly, You can only express your opinion on a situation.
You can't want their life more than they do. This is in fact their life to figure out on their own and in their own time. I do believe in timing. I do believe timing is everything. You forcing your beliefs and dreams down ones throat is only going to cause resentment and possibly manifest deeper issues. Possibly to the point of no return. "People say time heals all wounds... I say time heals wounds but scars are left to remind you what you have been through and what you survived." Stop shattering your own heart by trying to make a relationship (friend, family, partner) work that clearly isn't meant to work. We have to stop trying to repaint people's colors. We have to learn to believe the love we AREN'T given.
You can't love someone into loving you. (God I wish it were that easy) You can't force someone to be loyal, kind, understanding. You can't force someone to be the person you need them to be. Even if it's for their own good!! Sometimes the person you want most is the person you're best without. You have to understand... some things ARE supposed to happen in your life, but they just are NOT meant to be. Damn... It took me so many years to understand that. Don't lose yourself by trying to fix what's meant to stay broken.
God always has a plan even if we can't understand it (or don't want to understand it) Even in the darkest of places... Our Lord sees His vision. We might not understand it at the moment but I promise you, your future will always bring understanding and clarity of why things didn't work out. Don't put your happiness on hold for someone (family, friend, partner) who isn't holding on to you. "A Girl once told me… Be careful when trying to fix a broken person. For you may cut yourself on their shattered pieces.
Although Kardashian doesn't name a specific person in the essay, it's hard to read without thinking of her relationship with her husband, Lamar Odom. She nursed Odom back to health after he was hospitalized in October, and has stood by the basketball player through thick and thin.
But we do know the two have had their ups and downs, and the post may be a hint that she's ready to let go.
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
Saturday, April 9, 2016
#TalkToMe: These Parent-Child Moments Will Melt Your Heart
From Arianna Huffington opening up to her daughter Christina about love and divorce, to a gay dad named Jon talking to his son Sammy about LGBTQ equality, HuffPost's new series #TalkToMe is encouraging parents and kids to sit down and share a conversation.
Dozens of families have posted #TalkToMe videos on Facebook since the series launched on Monday. (Here's how to make your own – it's so worth it!) In the compilation above, watch moms, dads, daughters and sons open up to each other, one question at a time.
Below we've highlighted a few full #TalkToMe conversations that really stood out. In the first video, a mom named Penny shares an emotional moment with her daughter about her divorce and subsequent reconciliation.
Next up, a hilariously charming interview featuring parents Jenny and Rufus with their son Miles.
Bonnie Zampino posted this conversation with her 12-year-old son Brandon reflecting on his journey with autism.
Med student Arianna Yanes had a fascinating talk with with her mom Giti, a physician, about attending medical school in revolution-era Iran.
And finally, here's aforementioned gay dad and entrepreneur Jon Raj and his adorable bow-tied son. We promise this video will make your day.
We'll be featuring many more #TalkToMe videos in the weeks to come. Take a few minutes and make yours this weekend! We promise you'll be glad you did.
MORE from TALK TO ME:
Melinda Gates to her daughter: *This* will be the most important decision of your life
A touching conversation with her "daughters" brings Oprah Winfrey to tears
Arianna Huffington opens up to her daughter about mom guilt in a powerfully candid interview
How to make your own #TalkToMe video
-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.
